Updated October 2026 | Reviewed by Chris Berger, M.A., LPC, NCC
You can beat back to school stress with five practical moves: teach your kids to handle parts of their own routine, divide responsibilities between the adults, understand what is driving your child's stress, keep the daily routine simple, and protect unstructured play time. Each one lowers the temperature for the whole house, not just the kids.
Key takeaways
Your children should be involved in their own back to school experience. Helping them take ownership of age-appropriate tasks, like packing their backpack or laying out tomorrow's clothes, builds confidence, strengthens life skills, and reduces your own stress.
You can use incentives like allowance, a fun activity, or whatever else motivates your children. There is nothing wrong with the good, old-fashioned sticker chart, either.
Divide and conquer should be your household mantra, with each adult helping out around the house. Determine the strengths and preferences of each person and create a plan for who will handle what.
Things get trickier for single parents, but a similar concept still works: divide your responsibilities by time of day. Tackle the hardest and most stressful morning tasks the night before, like packing lunches and setting out clothes, so the morning starts calmer.
Summer lets everyone relax. A new school year asks kids to prepare for a lot at once: a new class, a new teacher, sometimes a new school. In our counseling work with Northern Colorado families, we see the same pattern every fall. Those transitions are stressful for anyone, and especially for kids who already struggle with anxiety.
Going back to school can be stressful for a number of reasons, so look out for unusual behavior patterns or changes in mood, sleep, or appetite. If you think something could be wrong, talk to your child from a place of understanding. Counseling for children and teens can also help kids learn to manage their stress and anxiety during the school year, and our guide to back to school anxiety covers how to ease the transition itself.
The entire family will benefit from a morning and evening routine, but make sure to keep it simple. Let go of the desire to have everything go perfectly, especially during hectic mornings. A simple plan gives you structure while leaving room to go with the flow when the day demands it.
Sports, musical instruments, dance classes: there is no shortage of activities to enroll your children in. But kids also need time to relax, unwind, and play freely in their own unstructured ways. Consider making at least one weeknight a free night each week.
This matters for their development, too. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that play helps build the safe, stable relationships that buffer children against toxic stress. In one study the AAP cites, preschoolers who were anxious about starting school were twice as likely to feel less stressed when they got 15 minutes of play, compared to classmates who listened to a story. Unstructured play is also the heart of play therapy, which uses a child's natural language of play to work through big feelings. You might even want to run around and get creative right alongside your kids.
Prefer to watch? This short video covers five ways to calm back to school stress for the whole house, from routines and sleep to knowing when extra support helps.
A new school year changes nearly everything at once: schedules, sleep, teachers, classmates, and expectations. That many transitions in a short window taxes kids and parents alike, which is why simple routines and shared responsibilities help so much.
Watch for changes from your child's normal: trouble sleeping, irritability, stomachaches, avoiding school, or pulling away from friends and activities they usually enjoy. If changes last more than a couple of weeks, talk with your child and consider professional support.
There is no magic number, but every child needs regular unstructured time to play and decompress. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes play as a buffer against stress. One activity-free weeknight is a practical place to start.
If your child's stress is disrupting sleep, grades, friendships, or family life for weeks at a time, or if your own stress is staying high no matter what you adjust, counseling can help. A therapist can teach both kids and parents practical coping skills.
Clinically reviewed by Chris Berger, M.A., LPC, NCC.
If stress ever tips into hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm for you or your child, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time.
If you or your child struggle with anxiety, we are here to help. Book a free consultation or call 970.227.2770. Your first consultation is free, and most new clients have their first appointment within about 48 hours.