What Is Reunification Therapy? A Guide for Parents

Reunification therapy is family counseling that helps a parent and child rebuild their relationship after divorce, a long absence, or high conflict has disrupted contact. A counselor works with the child and each parent at a pace the child can handle. It is therapy, not a custody evaluation, and it is not appropriate when abuse or a safety concern is present.

Key takeaways

• Reunification therapy rebuilds a strained or broken parent and child relationship step by step, starting with trust and communication.
• Some families are referred by a court, and many come on their own.
• It is not a custody evaluation. The counselor does not decide custody or parenting time.
• It is not the right step when there is abuse, domestic violence, or a safety concern that has not been addressed. Safety comes first.
• Per the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), children are more resilient and less stressed when there is less conflict between their parents, so what parents do between sessions matters.

If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 911. For domestic violence support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233 or text START to 88788, any time. If anyone is thinking about suicide, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

What is reunification therapy?

Reunification therapy is a structured form of family counseling for a parent and child whose relationship has been disrupted. Contact may have stopped after a divorce, a move, a long absence, or years of high conflict between the parents. Sometimes a child still sees a parent but every visit is tense.

The counselor meets with the child and with each parent, sometimes separately and sometimes together, and builds toward time together at a pace the child can handle. The goal is a safer, steadier relationship. It is not about forcing a child to feel a certain way or to pick a side.

Professional guidelines from the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) list reunification among the issues a court may ask therapy to address, alongside child distress and high conflict dynamics. Many families also seek it out on their own, with no court involved.

Who is reunification therapy for?

Families often look into reunification therapy when one or more of these is true:

• A child is refusing or avoiding contact with a parent, or avoids family events where that parent will be.
• Communication has broken down into frequent arguments, silence, or both.
• Trust has been damaged between a parent and child.
• A parent is returning after time away, and the child is unsure how to reconnect.
• Conflict between the parents has left the child caught in the middle.

Parents and children take part, and sometimes a stepparent or grandparent joins, depending on what the family needs.

When is reunification therapy not appropriate?

Reunification therapy is not appropriate when there is abuse, domestic violence, or another safety concern that has not been addressed. A child's fear or refusal can be grounded in real experience, and no therapy goal outranks a child's safety. Joint sessions, including couples therapy, are not recommended while abuse is ongoing.

If you have a safety concern, tell the counselor at the very start, before any joint session is planned. The first step may be individual support, safety planning, or abuse counseling rather than reunification.

Colorado law also limits what a court can order. Under House Bill 23-1178, signed in 2023, a court shall not order reunification treatment that is predicated on cutting off the relationship between a child and a protective party with whom the child is bonded and attached. This is general information, not legal advice. Ask your family law attorney how it applies to your case.

Help is available any time. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential, and open 24/7 at 1.800.799.7233 (text START to 88788). If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911. If someone is thinking about suicide, call or text 988.

What happens in reunification therapy?

Every family is different, but the work usually moves through a few stages:

1. Getting the full picture. The counselor meets with each parent to learn the history, any court involvement, and any safety concerns.
2. Time with the child. The child gets space to talk about the relationship without either parent in the room.
3. Coaching each parent. Parents learn what helps and what hurts, such as how to respond when a child is cold or angry.
4. Gradual joint sessions. When the child is ready, short and structured sessions bring parent and child together.
5. Building outside the office. Time together grows step by step, and the counselor helps the family handle setbacks.

At the start, the counselor explains what stays private, what is shared between family members, and what, if anything, may be shared with attorneys or the court. As in all counseling, there are legal limits, such as a concern that a child or someone else is being harmed.

Is reunification therapy a custody evaluation?

No. Reunification therapy is treatment. A custody evaluation is a separate process. The AFCC guidelines say a court involved therapist should not serve as both therapist and evaluator, and that opinions on issues such as child custody are beyond the scope of the treatment role and belong to other professionals and the court.

In Colorado, a court can order a separate evaluation of disputed parenting issues under C.R.S. 14-10-127. At Foundations Counseling, our counselors provide therapy. They do not perform custody evaluations or make custody or parenting time recommendations. With your signed consent, a counselor can confirm attendance. For anything about your case, your parenting plan, or a court order, talk with your attorney.

What can parents do to help?

What happens between sessions matters as much as the sessions. The AAP notes that children are more resilient and less stressed when there is less conflict between their parents, and that it is critical to shield a child from fighting as much as possible. The AAP also says children do better when both parents stay positively involved, as long as both are safe, capable caregivers.

• Keep the child out of the middle. Do not ask a child to carry messages or choose a side.
• Support, do not undermine. Avoid putting down the other parent in front of your child.
• Be patient with the pace. A slow, steady rebuild lasts longer than a rushed one.
• Take care of yourself. Your own support, such as divorce recovery therapy, helps you stay steady for your child.

For day to day co-parenting habits, read The Do's and Don'ts of Coparenting.

How do I find a reunification counselor in Northern Colorado?

Foundations Counseling offers reunification therapy in Fort Collins, Loveland, and Windsor, and online. Our child and teen counselors work with families at a pace the child can handle. Training and experience vary by counselor, so ask how they involve each parent and, if your case involves a court, how they communicate with attorneys. If the first counselor is not the right fit, our Counselor Match Guarantee means you can meet someone else.

Frequently asked questions

What is reunification therapy?

Reunification therapy is family counseling that helps a parent and child rebuild their relationship after divorce, a long absence, or high conflict has disrupted contact. The counselor works with the child and each parent at a pace the child can handle, starting with trust and communication. The goal is a safer, steadier relationship, not forcing a child to feel a certain way.

Is reunification therapy court-ordered?

Sometimes. A court may order reunification therapy, especially in custody disputes, and many families also choose it on their own. If a court order is involved, bring it to your first meeting and ask your attorney what it requires. Your counselor will explain up front what, if anything, is shared with attorneys or the court.

Does a reunification therapist decide custody?

No. A reunification counselor provides therapy, not a custody evaluation, and does not decide custody or parenting time. Guidelines from the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts say a therapist should not serve as both therapist and evaluator. In Colorado, an evaluation of parenting issues is a separate process the court can order.

When is reunification therapy not a good idea?

Reunification therapy is not appropriate when there is abuse, domestic violence, or another safety concern that has not been addressed. A child's fear can be grounded in real experience, and safety comes first. Tell the counselor about any safety concern at the start. For domestic violence support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233.

What if my child refuses to see the other parent?

Resistance is common, and the reasons are usually mixed: loyalty conflicts, things the child has heard, conflict between the parents, and the child's own experiences. A counselor looks at all of these without assuming who is at fault, checks for safety first, and helps the child reconnect gradually when it is safe.

How long does reunification therapy take?

It varies with the family and the history. Some families see progress in a few months, and others need a year or more, with regular sessions to support each step. Moving at the child's pace usually works better than rushing toward a deadline, and the counselor will review progress with you along the way.

Clinically reviewed by Chris Berger, M.A., LPC, NCC. Updated October 2026. This article is general information, not legal advice.

More for parents: browse our Parenting, Kids and Family guides.

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If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911. For domestic violence support, call 1.800.799.7233. In a crisis, call or text 988 any time.