Moving On After Breaking Up
Moving on from a romantic relationship after things have ended is an incredibly difficult transition. It’s completely normal, and healthy, to hurt after a breakup.
Eventually, though, you have to find peace and move on with your life. Here’s how to approach self-reflection and the healing process so that you can heal your heart.
Feel the depth of your emotions
Don’t get angry or frustrated with yourself for feeling. It’s completely okay to acknowledge the pain that you’re experiencing after a relationship has ended, and grieving is natural. If you don’t do this now, it’s more likely to become problematic in the future.
You might even need to dwell a bit before moving forward. Share your stories with a trusted friend or a therapist. Write a letter (don’t send it!) “to” your ex. Letting your feelings have a voice is important.
Assess your emotions
Eventually, you have to stop dwelling. Think about your emotions and the reasons behind them: Why do you feel this way? What can you learn?
Then, use this newfound knowledge about your emotions to help your future self identify what you want and need in a partner. Doing this allows you to find deeper meaning in your breakup and it will help you approach your next relationship with self-awareness and clarity.
Settle in for an emotional rollercoaster
Your feelings are not stagnant. One moment you might be basking in your newfound freedom with seemingly unlimited positivity and happiness. You could also radiate sadness and feel hopeless a few short hours later.
Again, this is completely normal. Eventually, as time passes, the good moments will occur with increased frequency and you’ll feel more resilient.
After a breakup, surround yourself with positive people
You’re already feeling crummy, so try not to spend time around other people who radiate sadness and negativity, or who otherwise make you feel sad, anxious, or upset.
While you should feel comfortable opening up to your support network, don’t let your breakup take over your other relationships. Try to talk about a variety of different things, make plans to do something fun, and allow the positive energy to flavor your own mindset.
Take care of yourself
Self-care is always important, but it’s particularly vital after a painful breakup. Do things that make you feel good: eat healthy, get some exercise, take a long bath, buy yourself flowers… even the smallest self-care gestures can have a massive impact.
If you still need help finding happiness and peace after a breakup, know that there are so many ways to reach that point. This list from Psychology Today includes some great tips, and it ends with a quote to keep in mind:
“Many times what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth.” ― Richelle Goodrich