The Importance of Counseling Before Marriage
Are you investing as much time planning for a successful marriage as you are in planning your wedding?
You’ve bought every one of the latest bridal magazines and spent hours dreaming of your dress. You’ve both asked your best friends to be in the bridal party. You’re touring your dream venue together next week and your wedding is all mapped out with thousands of pins on Pinterest (secret boards of course)!
Congratulations! Now, consider the benefits of Premarital Counseling
This is a wonderful and joyful time in life. You are over-the-moon, blissful, nearly bursting with happiness. And you SHOULD be!
This isn’t a time when you’re thinking about potential pitfalls or the things that could go wrong in a marriage. But actually, this is the perfect time – when you and your partner are in a happy place – to invest the time for premarital counseling.
Our focus at Foundations is to help lovebirds establish the necessary skills to build a strong foundation that will stand the test of time.
The Gottman method is an approach that uses research-based principles for making marriage long-lasting and harmonious.
Over a 35-year period Dr. Gottman has interviewed, studied, and analyzed more than 3,000 couples. He and his team discovered and documented patterns in interpersonal interactions and found that these patterns have a distinct impact on the ultimate result of a relationship. Dr. Gottman was able to determine the outcome of a relationship with an astonishing 93.6% accuracy. Using Dr. Gottman’s research, we can offer a newly engaged couple insight into their future together.
It’s never too early to start premarital counseling
Getting your relationship off to a healthy beginning and building the skills to help weather the inevitable ups and downs of a long marriage is the best gift you can give each other.
The average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems. Half of all marriages that end do so within the first 7 years, which means that the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long. Learning the skills that “masters of relationships” have taught us will improve your ability to communicate through conflict while deepening intimacy and your connection with your partner.
We help you build a “Sound Relationship House” based on three foundations:
- Nurturing your friendship
- Healthy, respectful dialogue around conflict and disagreement
- Ensuring your dreams and aspirations are on the same page
Some of the skills and tools you will learn include:
- Love Map: This practice enables you and your partner to connect emotionally and increase intimacy and understanding in a fun, gentle way. A powerful predictor of relationship stability is whether each person can allocate “mental room” for his or her partner’s world. Your love map includes a mental map of the relationship, including it’s history. Your maps will also include each partner’s past and present concerns, preferences, experiences, and reality.
- Communication Skills: We work on attentive listening skills, empathy, expressing feelings, and effective ways to manage conflict.
- Start New Rituals: Perhaps for the first time, we open the discussion about how you each envision creating your new family’s rituals and celebrations. These help solidify a unified partnership.
- Open Discussion About Issues and Concerns: Conflict can be stressful, but it’s also inevitable. When couples are equipped with and have an agreed on approaches for how issues will be resolved, that stress can be significantly decreased.
Just as there are types of behaviors that lead to divorce, there are skills and behaviors that can nearly guarantee a happy and stable marriage.
To take your relationship from good to great, we’ll assist you in strengthening the fondness, admiration, and trust you have for each other. We will help you develop the skills you will need down the road to resolve conflicts in a fair and respectful manner. In addition, you’ll learn what it takes to keep a marriage happy and healthy.