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Do We Need Marriage Counseling?

5 Signs You and Your Spouse Need Marriage Counseling


Before you think about divorce or separation, learn more about whether marriage counseling can help save your relationship. If you can relate to these five signs of a struggling partnership, marriage counseling could be a good choice.


1. Your marriage isn't what you want it to be

There isn't a predetermined level of conflict that your marriage needs to meet before you should both consider marriage counseling. Couples who visit a marriage therapist together have a wide variety of reasons for seeking out extra support. Communication issues, general feelings of discontent, built-up frustrations and other seemingly “minor” problems can all be reasons to seek counseling.

This is why I always advise patients, “Don't wait to get marriage counseling as a last ditch effort.” If your marriage isn't where you want it to be and you've struggled to solve the problem together, consider going to marriage counseling.

2. You always fight or get stuck on the same issues

Does every single fight, conversation or discussion circle back to the same issues, like lingering hurt from something you or your spouse did a long time ago?

Getting unstuck is difficult, especially once it becomes a pattern. After years of frustration, it's not easy to break the cycle and do something different. When you visit a marriage counselor, they'll help you discover new ways of working through arguments so that change finally has a chance.

3. Resentment is building up within the marriage

Resentment can build up slowly over time, meaning it can sneak into your marriage without notice. One surefire sign of resentment is getting easily and regularly annoyed with your spouse, no matter what they say or do.

If one or both partners begin to feel resentment toward the other, it's time to book an appointment with a marriage counselor ASAP.

4. Lies and secrets have become a common component of your marriage

Everyone keeps secrets. But, if secrets are a recurring theme in your marriage, something deeper is clearly wrong. A loving union requires trust from both parties, because trust is an essential piece of a satisfying marriage.

Your marriage counselor will help you and your spouse understand why secrets are being kept. In many cases, secrets are a means of avoiding disapproval or criticism. With help from a therapist, you can learn how to communicate more effectively .

5. One, or both, partners has done something “unthinkable”

Many couples find themselves in marriage counseling after an affair or other serious betrayal, asking the question, “Should I stay or should I go?”

There's no easy answer, but know that couples can recover from an affair if both parties are committed to rebuilding trust and intimacy. Doing this work isn't easy — I've described it as “grueling and agonizing” before, and that isn't an exaggeration. Your entire marriage will be redefined and it can feel like you're starting over.

Marriage counseling in Fort Collins, Loveland and Windsor, Colorado

Does your marriage need some extra help? Our compassionate therapists can help you and your spouse reconnect and rebuild through marriage and couples counseling . Click here to schedule your free consultation .