Skip to content

5 Signs You're Having an Emotional Affair

More Than Friends: How to Spot the Signs of An Emotional Affair

Many people associate affairs with physical relationships, but the truth is that emotional affairs are just as damaging. An emotional affair occurs when you share an intimate, emotional connection with another person that is not your partner. Even though the relationship is not physical, an affair of the heart is still a betrayal of trust .

A platonic friendship and an emotional affair are not the same, but many people aren't sure how to tell the difference between the two. Here are the signs you should look for to determine if you are having an emotional affair.

1. You're keeping the relationship a secret

Keeping any aspect of your relationship with the other person a secret could indicate that you are having an emotional affair. For example, your partner may know that you are friends with the other person, but you may not tell your partner how close you two are or how much time you spend together. You may also find yourself deleting text messages or emails from the person, so your partner doesn't know how often you communicate.

If you are keeping any aspect of the relationship secret--no matter how minor--this means you are consciously aware that what you are doing is not right.

2. You're becoming emotionally distant

An emotional affair is an emotional investment. You may start to distance yourself from your partner as you begin to invest more time, energy and emotions into the other person. If you are losing interest in spending time with or talking to your partner, this means you are investing too much energy into your relationship with the other person.

3. You're becoming increasingly frustrated with your partner

People who are in emotional affairs often compare their partners to the other person in their lives. Because the relationship with the other person is new and exciting, you will most likely start to view them more favorably than your partner.

As a result, you may find yourself becoming more annoyed or frustrated with your partner at home. If you are snapping at your partner, rolling your eyes or exhibiting other signs of obvious annoyance or frustration, you may be having an emotional affair.

4. There is sexual chemistry

There is no sexual relationship in an emotional affair, but there can be sexual chemistry. There shouldn't be a spark between the two of you if it's purely a platonic relationship. But, if it's crossed the line into an emotional affair, you may flirt with one another or find yourself fantasizing about having a sexual relationship with the other person.

5. You are venting about your significant other

Think about the conversations you have had with the other person. Do you make negative comments about your partner? Do you discuss the problems you are facing in your relationship with your partner? If you are sharing these intimate details with the other person, this is a sign that you could be having an emotional affair.

Having an emotional affair can damage your relationship, but affair recovery counseling can help you and your partner move forward together.

The caring therapists at Foundations Counseling can help you and your family overcome life's greatest challenges. Contact us today!