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4 Bad Habits That Could Hurt Your Relationship

Nix These Bad Habits for a Healthier Relationship

From healthy communication to gratitude and more, we've talked about some of the important things that make a relationship work here on the Foundations Counseling blog before . On the other end of the spectrum, it's just as important to talk about bad habits in relationships.

Today, I'm going to share 4 bad relationship habits to be aware of, plus suggestions for how to counteract each one. If some of these habits sound painfully familiar, remember that we've all had times where we aren't expressing our best, most loving behaviors with our partners. The important thing is that you recognize bad habits and get to work actively fixing them.

1. Trying to change or improve your partner

All too often, we feel like we can change our spouses and partners. We want to “fix” the things that we perceive to be problems, and it becomes our mission to make those changes happen. This isn't only unfair to your partner, it can also breed resentment.

The next time you find yourself criticizing or trying to change your partner, pause for a moment and recall something you love about them.

2. Taking someone for granted

It's easy to take someone for granted, especially when you see each other every day. Before you know it, you might even begin to expect your partner to do certain things for you.

You already know that actively practicing gratitude is a great way to improve your mental health and well-being. The same concept applies to our relationships. The next time your partner brings you a morning coffee or brushes the snow off your car, don't forget to thank them.

3. Giving your partner the silent treatment

If you've ever ignored your partner instead of talking about something that's bothering you, you certainly aren't alone. Whether you're annoyed or angry, the silent treatment is never the answer.

Battle this bad habit by making a commitment to talk things out when you're feeling frustrated. It's okay to ask for some space to process your emotions, but don't let your feelings fester. If you need some tips on how to communicate more effectively, this article has some helpful advice: Communication Skills - Drop the Defense for Meaningful Conversations .

4. Not addressing your own self esteem issues

Did you know that your self esteem impacts your relationships? It's true, and not feeling confident in yourself is a habit that can inflict lasting damage on your relationships.

Self esteem is a complicated topic. There are so many factors that can influence how you feel about yourself. This article from PsychCentral is a great resource that will help you examine your self esteem, and it closes with a piece of advice that I love:

“Consider looking at one positive quality of yours and one positive quality of your partner's each day no matter what else happens. You are laying the foundation for a different sense of self and a different sense of trust in your relationship.”

Improving your relationship

Whether you're struggling with self esteem or specific relationship problems, our team of compassionate counselors can help. If you'd like to learn new strategies for increasing confidence or communicating more effectively, call us today for your free consultation .